Journal Week 5

The material in this week’s lesson has caused me to reflect on my own growth more than weeks past.  I have struggled my entire life with feeling like I had purpose.  I quit college as a young adult because I couldn’t see a path for my future.  I’m beginning to feel glimmers of hope for finding my own passions and purpose. 

The video by Randy Komisar “How to Find your Passion and How to Pursue It” had some good insights for me.  I’ve spent many years and a lot of money on sports, dance, and music lessons for my children to help them find their talents and passions, but I’ve given little effort to finding my own.  Komisar said that it’s ok to have a “portfolio of passions” rather than a single one.  In fact, he advised against focusing merely on “The Passion.” With that focus in mind, I feel more comfortable not knowing exactly where I will end up in the end.  Instead I look forward to the joy of growing all the talents and passions I experience and then pair them with opportunities in front of me. 

The video “The Hero’s Journey” was golden.  It was full of wisdom meant for me.  We learned some of the material a few weeks ago when we did the “Stars and Steppingstones” assignment. A few new ideas stuck out this time around.  For instance, “Being worried about the wrong things means you could miss the opportunity of a lifetime.” Sometimes I think I’ve spent my lifetime worrying about the wrong things. I worry a lot. I’ve reflected on things I worry about and realize they are often meaningless or out of my hands to change.  I could focus, instead, on what I can change and what is most important in my life. 

The speaker also suggested that we live every moment of life like it matters, because it does; live as if your life has a mission, because you do; and see struggles as adventure.  This idea got me thinking about how I spend the moments in my life.  I recognize that I waste too much time on things of little consequence. I should be focusing on things that will lead to a life of meaning, not just being comfortable or entertained.  My husband is an excellent example to me.  He spends much of his time working on specific goals.  He listens to motivational talks in the car, general conference talks while showering, and uses his phone app to learn Spanish in his free time instead of playing games.  He rarely watches TV.  I should follow his example and that of other successful people to make my time -and my life- more meaningful.

In relation to finding my passions, this talk encouraged listeners to never give up on the search for a calling.  He suggests that we focus on being an expert at something if we want to succeed. He said that we should find a calling that fits our special gifts.  But again, I find myself wondering “what are my special gifts?”  I’m still searching but have hope that I will keep recognizing them.  The video suggest that I ask 5 people who know me best what I do better than anyone else in the world.  I fear that no one will be able to think of anything.  But really, I can imagine that exercise could offer some very interesting insights into my personal gifts. I hope that eventually I will be able to say that I have used my gifts to change the world, and I will have been changed -improved, purified- in the process.